Friday, July 23, 2010

It's funny

When you think about it its pretty funny...
How the father that was supposed to love and protect is the one that hurt you the most.
How your role model turns out to be the person you don't want to know anymore.
How the best dream you have haunts you forever.
How you can't wait to grow up, but once you're up, you want to be little again.
How forever never seems to last.
How plans made always seem to be canceled.
How the words "i love you" seems to be more of an insult.
How the heart is supposed to be the strongest muscle in your body, when it is actually the weakest.
But when did life become a comedy routine?!?

I'm DONE with you

I'm tired of clinging to your memories.
I'm tired of beating myself up over you.
I'm tired of remembering how i lost you.
I'm tired of you.
I'm sick of thinking aboout your smile.
I'm sick of dreaming about seeing you again.
I'm sick of remembering your face.
I'm sick of you.
I'm pissed that you left without a word.
I'm pissed you chose her over me.
I'm pissed you never noticed me.
I'm pissed at you.
I'm sorry i wasn't the girl you wanted.
I'm sorry i wasn't perfect.
I'm sorry i never told you.
I'm sorry... But I'm done with you.

In Your Arms

I have totally lost myself in this world,
I've stumbled and fallen,
I've stood back up just to fall back on my face,
I'm burned and I'm broken.
I'm totally worthless in this world,
I've used everything i have up,
I've been pushed to my limits and beyond,
I'm silenced and mute.
But here in your arms, I'm not worthless,
I may fall,
But you're always there to pick me up and carry me away,
You try your best to find all my pieces.
You help me re-build everything i have lost,
In your arms,
I'm worth something,
I'm special.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I lost you...

You were the one to leave me! Not the other way around.
YOU were my role-model.
I looked up to you.
I tried everything to please you and be with you.
You were my one friend.
My one play-mate.
I kept all your selfish secrets!
I did everything you asked!
I never judged you and what did I get from all my hard work?
Someone who hates me?
Dropped me the second they grew older and began to experiment.
You stopped caring that you were me role-model.
I wanted to dress like you, to be seen with you, to play games with you.
I wanted support like the kind you were given everyday.
I wanted the attention that you hogged your whole life!
You stopped caring that your little sister had to suffer by herself.
You were my EVERYTHING!
I was so close to you.
But i lost you.
I don't know how or when... but i did.
You can say all the usual crap to mask it and make it seem like I'm just being a drama queen.
But you can't lie to me anymore.
I just want you to love me.
I accepted the fact of things change when you grow up...
But i don't accept the fact that you left me alone...
I lost you.... I would do anything to get you back...

The good ol' days

I have given my everything, just to feel a piece of what i used to have.
I have tried my hardest, just to please the people i love.
I have resisted, so that i won't create more scars.
I have remembered, that way I'll never forget.
I have bled, just so I could breath.
I have pushed myself up, just to be pulled down.
Oh how i miss the good ol'days.
The days that i didn't have to give everything.
I didn't have to try very hard.
I didn't have to resist.
I had nothing to remember.
I didn't have to bleed.
I was never pushed and pulled.
Those were the days.
Those are the days that i wish never happened.
That way i wouldn't have to miss them.

Pure emptiness

In the clouds, everything seemed to fade out.
The ties that held me down seemed to break.
I was finally free from what kills me.
I could feel my lungs fill with air.
I could hear my heart sigh something that sounded like relief.
My head didn't bounce around in my skull.
My body was not weak feeling.
So why did i suddenly feel empty?
Shouldn't i be enjoying my freedom?
And even though I am, why does my emptiness resemble something else?
Is it that I miss someone special?
Or that i feel totally abandoned?
ha.. well it wouldn't be the first time i felt abandoned...

Friday, July 9, 2010

I don't believe you

I don't believe you when you say everything will be ok.
it never is.
You never seem to tell the truth.
I don't believe you when you say you love me.
you never have.
You never seemed to.
I don't believe when you say your doing your best.
you never do.
You never will.
I don't believe you when you say you will catch me.
you never did.
You are never around to.
.... If i don't believe you.. who can i believe?....