Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Hold Me

Hold me deep into the night,
Press me deeper into your embrace,
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
Let me bleed for you,
Let me cry for you,
Let me suffer for you,
Don't say a word, just hold me,
Let me melt into your eyes,
Just don't wake me in the morning,

Let me take your burdens,
Burry your pain in my skin,
Trust me I'll catch you, and if I don't I'll fall with you,
Hold my hand, cause I won't move until you do,
I'll show you my scars if you swear to make them disappear,
I'll give you whatever is left of my heart,
I'll let you see my soul if you promise not to run,
Hold me close,
Let me melt into your eyes,
Just don't wake me in the morning.

Would Anyone Catch Me?

If I jumped, would you be beneath me to catch me?
Or would you be behind me, pushing me further and further into insanity?
If I fell would you be beside me to catch me?
Or just laugh and walk away?
If I didn't get up would you be there to wake me?
Or would you notice?
Oh, thats right...
You let me jump...
You let me fall...
You didn't notice me...
You left me...

Get Over It

You've got to keep going.
You can't always hide behind this...
Grow up already.
This is life, live with it.
This unhealthy habit has got to end.
Forget all about it.
Remember, you don't have to do this alone anymore.
Keep your smile on.
Don't let this consume you again.
You've got to fight back at some point, why not now?
You know this isn't your best.
Just because you're scared, doesn't mean you can keep this up.
How can you be this weak?
How did this even start?
STOP LYING!!!!!!!!
Stop pretending this will get better on its own.
You can't just ignore this.
Let go of something for once.
Stop letting this control you.
GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!

....All those reasons... so why not stop?....

Just a Bit Longer

Keep going, hold on for 10 for minutes...
The nights almost over, just wait for 9 more minutes...
You can over come this, think about it for 8 more minutes...
Call someone, this may be your last 7 minutes...
It may be tempting, but only for 6 more minutes...
Keep breathing, it'll all be over in 5 minutes...
Put on some music, drown it out for the last 4 minutes...
It can't beat you, be strong for 3 more minutes...
Just think of tomorrow, focus on it for 2 more minutes...
Write more words done, repeat it out loud for a minute...
...Times Up... Did you make it?...

I'm Trying

I'm trying so hard,
but i don't seem to get anywhere.
I'm sorry that i'm not like You,
that i can't just stand up.
My legs are weak,
I'm not able to even walk on my own.
But knowing You're listening,
Knowing that You're beside be puts blood in my cheeks again.
I have fallen so many times at Your feet,
Raising my hands to Your light and screaming for help.
I give my core to You,
Take it please.
It is filthy and broken,
Just pieces of what i used to be.
I hope that is enough for You,
Please say it is.
Without You i would drown,
Be eaten alive by the fires of hell.
Thank you.
Please just consume me,
Take my entire soul in Your arms.
I'm not asking You to fix my world,
Just to hold my hand and walk with me.
I'm trying to walk on my own,
But i stumble and get lost.
Be my guide and show me,
Please lead me.
I'm trying so hard,
But all i seem to be able to do is cry out Your name in praise.


Its funny when you think about it... Your whole young life their there. To guide and protect you. To make you feel better. To fight with you, but in a way you know they still care... So why is it that I lost that?
My own flesh and blood... Left me to wander this dark alone.
Its funny that when things fell apart, so did all my relationships.
From sitting on her bed, singing show tunes while she puts her make-up on... Or from listening to her read Lord Of The Rings to me... to no connection. From playing horse-over-horse, from drawing together, to nothing.
I see other siblings that are so in tune, they tell each other everything... I never really had that... When things went to crap, i was pushed in the corner while the older kids were taken care of.... I didn't get the advice, i got the fights. I didn't get the time to spend, i had backs turned to me.
And actually, when you think about it... I deserved it... I just wish i could take whatever i did back...

Let me

Let me fall,
because you never stopped it before.
Let me cry,
because you never stopped it before.
Let me regret,
because you never stopped it before.
Let me drown my pain,
because you never stopped it before.
Let me go,
Becaue what the heck made you start caring?

First off

Thought i would jump right into the blogging stage and skip the steps of explaining my life.

I'm falling deeper and deeper into a darkness I can't fight.
I'm slipping into a bottomless pit of regret.
I'm tumbling further and further down the rabit hole...
And I don't think I can get back out without you...