Reflecting

Its funny when you think about it... Your whole young life their there. To guide and protect you. To make you feel better. To fight with you, but in a way you know they still care... So why is it that I lost that?
My own flesh and blood... Left me to wander this dark alone.
Its funny that when things fell apart, so did all my relationships.
From sitting on her bed, singing show tunes while she puts her make-up on... Or from listening to her read Lord Of The Rings to me... to no connection. From playing horse-over-horse, from drawing together, to nothing.
I see other siblings that are so in tune, they tell each other everything... I never really had that... When things went to crap, i was pushed in the corner while the older kids were taken care of.... I didn't get the advice, i got the fights. I didn't get the time to spend, i had backs turned to me.
And actually, when you think about it... I deserved it... I just wish i could take whatever i did back...